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How to Avoid Hitting People When You Feel Angry
Should you slap people when they make you mad?
No.
Granted, it happens sometimes. Sometimes it even happens on a stage on live television with millions of people watching.
But it’s definitely not an appropriate or acceptable (or legal) way to handle your emotions. And yelling and cursing just dial up the anxiety in the room, so that’s not an option either.
So how do you deal with those impulses? The impulse to react instantly and dramatically to that which assaults your ego or offends you on some deep level?
Before I answer, let me say that I’m a work in progress in this area. I’ve learned a lot — mostly the hard way — about mindfulness and emotional regulation. And I still haven’t arrived at a place of mastery.
I’m a stuffer. I tend to collect my feelings and just stuff them down until they leak or explode out later. And after talking to a lot of people about this, I don’t think I’m alone.
Now, having read a dozen good books about anger, having talked about this in-depth with my therapist, and having discussed it a lot with my wife (who happens to be a highly skilled therapist), I want to share a big piece of advice with my fellow strugglers.
